I’m embarrassed to say I’ve never “made it to the top of the mountain,” if you know what I mean. Am I the only one?

No. Achieving orgasm is a tricky business. Most women fake it at some point; about 5 percent of women never get there, and it does get harder after menopause. But just because you never have doesn’t mean you never will. With some coaching, some understanding of your physiology, and some practice, chances are good that you’ll awaken those slumbering nerve endings. 

You still can, even if you never have.

There are other things that might interfere. Neurological disorders (Parkinsons and MS, for example), surgical conditions (having had pelvic surgery), adhesions “down there,” medical disorders (diabetes, vascular disease), and medication side-effects (antidepressants, antihypertensives, and others). Your doctor can help identify any issues and point you to good resources.