Why is climaxing more work or entirely elusive?

It used to be fairly easy, but lately it’s a lot more work. Sometimes I don’t even get there. Why? And what can I do about it?

Blame it on changing hormones. During menopause, your body drastically slows and eventually halts production of estrogen, resulting in vaginal atrophy, vaginal dryness, and reduced blood flow to the clitoris and vagina. When it comes to orgasms in midlife, it’s not uncommon to find that whatever has worked for the last 20 years doesn’t work anymore.

There are, however, other things that likely will. Consider adding something new to your repertoire in the boudoir. A vibrator, for example, provides extra stimulation needed to overcome the sluggish circulation in a clitoris that, if unused, will go dormant, pulling up into the body. That’s right: You have to use it or you risk losing it!

Consider adding something new to your repertoire.

Vibrators can be for external or internal use. External vibrators (like Fin and Kiri) work extremely well for women who respond to direct clitoral stimulation. Other women like the internal stimulation of the vagina and G spot, too, for which some vibrators (Gigi2, Raya, Celesse) are designed. Those vibrators can also be used externally on the clitoris. If you want the extra stimulation during intercourse, the external type will work best.

Whatever you might choose, I often recommend to women that they try self-stimulation to see what kind of touch where feels best. Good luck!