It’s hard on me and on my spouse! I’m 50 and still getting my period every month.
What you describe is definitely common! No one would choose to buy a ticket on the emotional rollercoaster that often accompanies perimenopause and menopause.
I have a few ideas that might be helpful. You could try using an oral contraceptive, which works by suppressing your ovarian function so you no longer “cycle.” That would reduce the hormone fluctuations and likely improve mood. The safety of oral contraceptives depends on your health risks, so talk to your health care provider.
Another option is using estradiol, which is used continuously all cycle long. We feel most of the disruptive symptoms are due to a fall in estrogen, so if we can support estrogen levels throughout the cycle, it can significantly improve mood.
Finally, you could try using a “mood medication” to treat the underlying anxiety and mood swings. Usually this is with a medication from the class of meds called SSRIs (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors) which includes Prozac, Lexapro, Celexa, Zoloft and many others.
Whichever option you try, it’s most important to address lifestyle. Exercise is at the top of the list to boost mood. I recommend 45 to 60 minutes five days a week. Do what you can to get seven or more hours of sleep/night. Cut back on sugar and processed carbs, and eat whole foods as much as possible. Also, practice yoga—it can help reduce stress!